Deep Insights
Go Further
Long-form essays for readers ready to think deeply about attachment — drawing on psychology, philosophy, neuroscience, and other fields to illuminate patterns that are hard to see from inside them.
Your Attachment Style Is Not Something You Have
The four attachment types are one of psychology's most useful maps — and also, in an important sense, a fiction. They're not personality categories. They're statistical attractors in a continuous space, and your 'type' is not a stable trait you carry but a response system that activates under specific conditions. Understanding this changes what changing it actually means.
The Control Problem at the Core of Anxious Attachment
Real control doesn't look like control — it looks like care. It hides in the rhythm of daily behavior, not in its content. Understanding this changes everything about how anxious attachment actually works.
You Can't Play Go Well If You're Anxiously Attached
A game of territory and letting go — Go turns out to be a surprisingly precise mirror for anxious attachment. The same fear that drives you to cling in relationships makes you lose on the board.